Divorce and Custody Coaching

Approach With Sensitivity

A Marine going through a divorce or custody change is dealing with personal disruption. The documentation work matters but the human work matters more.

• Acknowledge the personal nature.
• Respect privacy on the underlying causes.
• Focus on the procedural support.
• Refer to chaplain or MFLC if helpful.
• Refer to legal for the legal side.

The documentation closes administrative loops. It does not close the human loop.

Wait for the Final Decree

Common mistake: submitting paperwork on the petition or on the separation agreement.

• Petition is the start. Not actionable.
• Separation agreement covers the in-between. Not divorce.
• Final decree is the actionable document.

Submit the NAVMC 10922NAVMC 10922 with the certified final decree, not earlier documents.

Required Documents Post-Decree

Photocopies fail. Certified.

What Changes on Submission

• BAH rate may change. With-dependent to without if no children, or stays with-dependent if Marine retains custody.
• Spouse loses ID card and DEERS access.
• TRICARE for spouse ends per CHCBP transition rules.
• SGLI beneficiary may need update.
• RED-S contact information may need update.

Walk each change with the Marine.

Custody Considerations

If children are involved.

• The custody order documents the arrangement.
• BAH may stay at with-dependent rate if Marine has primary or shared custody.
• Family Care Plan may apply if the Marine becomes a sole parent.
• TRICARE for children continues per dependent enrollment.

A Marine becoming a sole parent due to divorce triggers the Family Care Plan requirement per MCO 1754.9AMCO 1754.9A.

SGLI Beneficiary

Many Marines list spouse as primary SGLI beneficiary. Post-divorce.

• Marine reviews the beneficiary list.
• Marine decides whether to update.
• The decision is the Marine's.

A Marine post-divorce who never updates SGLI may have the ex-spouse as primary beneficiary at death.

RED-S Update

The ex-spouse may have been the primary next of kin on RED-S. Post-divorce.

• Marine reviews the contact list.
• Marine updates as appropriate.
• Section verifies the update landed.

Spouse ID and Base Access

After the divorce.

• Spouse turns in the ID card.
• DEERS deactivates the spouse.
• Base access for the spouse ends per local policy.

The Marine coordinates the ID return. Some bases require the Marine to physically retrieve the card.

When the Marine Is in Crisis

A Marine in active divorce proceedings may carry significant emotional load.

• Refer to chaplain or MFLC.
• Coordinate with Force Preservation if risk indicators surface.
• Adjust counseling cadence.
• Watch for performance impact.

A Marine grieving a divorce who no one acknowledges drifts further.

Common Divorce and Custody Failures

• Marine submits paperwork on petition or separation agreement, not final decree.
• BAH change runs slow because the Marine kept paperwork private.
• SGLI beneficiary never updated. Ex-spouse remains primary.
• RED-S still lists ex-spouse as PNOK.
• Family Care Plan gap surfaces at deployment alert.

Where to Go Next

• Bereavement coaching for the parallel grief context.
• EFMP coordination if children have special needs.
• Family readiness audit for the broader family-data check.